Terms and Conditions


"Hey, Mr. Toad - Can't thank you enough for the excellent work you did to improve the functioning of my eCommerce website. You were also very successful in strengthening the security of the site and eliminating hacker-related problems. I was very impressed and would recommend you highly. Thanks a million for all your help. "
Ann Wamack

Don't lose it all

The inspiration for these musings came from reading 'Katherine' by Anya Seton (as shown)

The old cliche is as follows "You bring nothing with you into this life and you will take nothing out". Undeniable as far as material goods are concerned - yet what are the consequences?  Let's see.

The obvious conclusion is that you own nothing, you are the OWNER of nothing. It is indeed best to accept this, not cling to your possessions. No, you don't have to go around like a saint who has no earthly possessions - but you CAN stop lusting after possessions in the way that we are conditioned to by the materialistic society in which we live (whereby are all expected to consume our quota and keep the capitalist illusion alive.

How can you be happy when you are a slave to the WANTS that others have inculcated inside you - when these impulses are not your own? You will have been taken for a fool if you live by other people's code. You need to make a strenuous effort, if you have not already done so, to find out what your OWN desires are - not desires which have been foisted upon you by others.

This includes those who make promises to you of their undying love and devotion or whatever. Have a thought about what these people stand to gain from you, whether they are making a simple bargain in terms of what they are offering and what they expect in return. If you find this harsh then all I ask is that you consider their situation before and after falling in with their plans. Do they stand to gain or lose? What then their motives? This is healthy pragmatism, is all.

Perhaps even more important is that you should live moment by moment (I'll come to the actual benefits later). Accept that everything you have, every thing and everybody you love, can be snatched away from you in a moment. Which in your heart, you know to be true. Maybe not an accident or a death but simply a turning away. I don't suggest you therefore make plans for this - that would not be right. Nor even adopt a way of behaviour in which you stand strong, ready to survive on your own if need be. No, if you presently love and need someone then this should not be denied or circumvented in any way.

In fact I would suggest the opposite. I would ask you to open your heart even wider, if that is possible. We all live in this 'double jeopardy' whereby we deliberately make ourselves vulnerable to others, to risk indifference or even outright rejection. But the truth is that if you don't live your life in this way, then you cannot expect an authentic response from those who love you (or might love you in the future). If you try to shield yourself from hurt you will be living a lie and canot expect a full and open response. This applies to life in general as well as loved ones. Life will pass you by if you do not live it fully. You can and must be brave enough to risk everything, to go wherever your inner voice asks you to go.

There is a joy in living from each moment to the next. If you know in your heart that everything can be lost by tomorrow then you will truly cherish all that you have today - and be able to enjoy it to the full. We are too much inclined to take things for granted - understandable because, as mortals, we have to have some mechanisms in place to deal with the awful knowledge that one day we will inevitable die. But taking things for granted is a way of ignoring things and if we ignore things such as a partner's love then we are simply cut off from that love - completely. It might as well have never been. You will have lost it all.

"Happiness is not having everything that you want, but wanting everything that you have" - Rabbi Hyman Schachtel (1954)

Interestingly the above maxim was tested scientifically - here's a quick summary and here is the Full Monty!

And here are some other inspirational quotes about 'happiness'


  1. Thought Bubble Ten says

    Hey Mr Toad, first off, I want to wish you the most wonderful and fulfilling year ever and that you enjoy every one of your heart's true desires/wants :)

    It's lovely to read this first post for the year from you.
    So much of what you say is true, I feel, although I may not see everything in exactly the same way as you do.

    For instance, enjoying every moment and not taking it for granted is something I want to do and remind myself to do. I just prefer to be motivated to do it, not so much out of fear that what we cherish may be gone in an instant but because it is just such a joyous thing to do!

    And, yes, being in love with one person does not in any way diminish our ability to open our hearts to others - many, many others. If anything, it would inspire us to love more widely and fully.

    Anyway, those are just some thoughts in response to a post of beautiful intentions. I look forward to reading lots more!

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